Doggie Found a Home

I just MIGHT be getting back into this blogging thing! I just hope I'll be able to get my readers back now!
I'm not sure if I ever showed you this other dog that I'm in love with. I spotted this dog at a junk store and did not buy him. I regretted it immediately. I thought about this dog for months, I even dreamed about him. When I finally convinced myself that he had to become a Silvester, I brought him home, continued to love him, but couldn't find the perfect spot for him. Since then he has guarded our front door on the porch. He looked handsome, but I really wanted to bring him inside.

Mom and I spent the first weekend of April in Granbury where I fell in love again. This time it was with a super cool metal trunk. I brought it home and the dog is the perfect accessory. This is now my favorite area of the house.

Doesn't he look handsome? And isn't the trunk super cool?

We're All Grown Up

James and I have been a part of a "Foundations Group" at church since October of 2008. "Foundation Groups" are small groups for young married couples with a mentor couple. The hope is that after a year and a half the group will be able to step out on their own without the mentor couple and continue to "do life together." Last month we completed our curriculum and are now on our own. We decided that going on a retreat would be a great way to start this new chapter for our group. We have truly been blessed by this group. Unfortunately many groups don't even make it to the end and or choose not to continue with the group after completing the "foundation" part. All 10 members of us have probably wanted to drop out at some point, but instead we have put forth the effort required to keep going. It has definitely been worth it! We had a great time this weekend and have high hopes for the future.

We ate a ton, worshipped the Lord, laughed uncontrollably, shed a few tears, dreamed of our future, opened our hearts, sipped on wine, stayed up too late, got up too early, talked about babies, sat in silence, encouraged each other, plowed through bags of candy, went for a run (guys only) quoted movies, nicknamed each other, lounged in our pjs, slurped spaghetti, watched the rain and enjoyed one another. It was great!

I love this very accurate picture of all of us

James and Rachel, Clay and Amanda, Michael and Kristen, Wes and Holly, Robert and Michelle

Pretty Ladies

Handsome Men

I just like how funny they think each other is

Not sure whose idea it was that James and I needed to be picked up

Hmmm

Thankful for a great weekend!

Honesty

Writing is therapy. I'm not wanting to be this honest and I'm not asking for sympathy, but I'm hoping writing will give me some comfort. I'm totally discontent and have been for several months. I hate not being content. I have a wonderful life, full of treasures, but I don't have the one thing I've wanted for as long as I can remember. Most days my heart is hurting so much that I miss out on the joy and beauty around me. I don't like it. I have no idea how to get out of this horrible funk.
If you know me at all, you know what the "one thing" is. Yep, a baby. I've been so ready for so long to be a mother, but it is not yet my time. That crushes me. I felt like I finally came to a real peace about waiting and then out of nowhere signs were pointing to the the wonderful thought that a baby was inside me. It was my dream coming true. It was wonderful until the doctor said the word negative. So now it is all I think about, dream about and want to talk about. The feeling of longing is nothing I can describe.
The feeling won't go away and I don't want it to, but I have to find a way to be happy while waiting patiently. I have to find a way to not be mad or bitter. I see the bitterness in myself and it is oh so ugly. I keep praying for a baby, but also pray for peace while I wait for the baby. It feels contradicting. I start off my day with prayer for gratitude and happiness and out of nowhere I get a call that so and so is pregnant or I see precious children with their mothers and I fall back into the sadness and bitterness.
I MUST work towards happiness and joy. I want that and need it in order to survive. I know that our day will come. It will, I don't doubt it. I know that it will also be so much more than I can even imagine at this point. It will be worth the wait. I fully expect to continue to have really hard days, but I'm hoping to have more good than bad. I've missed too much already and I don't want to miss anything else. Today is a new day.

For The Moms

Happy Halloween!!

Maverick LOVES his hotdog costume, can't you tell?

Not an ounce of boredom

I was told I've been too big of a slacker lately with the blogging, so I'll give a brief update of what is going on in the Silvester household.

We are soooo busy!! I am amazed every day when I write the date. I can't believe it is the middle of October! We are spending lots of time with good friends and less time at home than either of us prefer, but we are extremely grateful for the wonderful friendships in our life.

James' work is still going strong and he is continuing to enjoy his job and his clients. He is one happy man now that football is on t.v. He also found out today that he is going to be playing flag football with some friends. He is reallly excited about that. I'm just praying his foot doesn't object to it. If you remember, the last time he played football he ended up on crutches and in a huge boot for months afterwards.

As you all know, I started a new job in August working as a social worker for a nursing home. I really, really enjoy it. I LOVE the residents and could go on and on about them. It has been a big adjustment for me getting back into the workforce. I have also never worked in healthcare, so my brain is generally fried by the end of the week. I do however, know that this is the area of social work that I can stick with.

Having said all of that, I have had one roller coaster of a week. I don't have the time or energy to go into all of it now, but with zero warning I was transferred to another facility where I am now THE social worker. So far I think it is a wonderful opportunity for me to work with some great people and even better residents. It is a promotion and a pay raise, so that is a blessing and something I was not prepared for. I am exhausted and my brain is on overdrive. I was the Assistant Social Worker at my previous facility for all of 2 months and now I am doing it solo. It will take some time to adjust and I still have so much to learn, but I think I am up for the challenge.

Tomorrow I am headed to Tyler after work for the Edom Arts Festival. I can't wait to relax after a crazy week! I know James is looking forward to a fun weekend too, but neither of us is looking forward to the time apart. I will attempt to update again soon! I love all of you!

Maverick

I have so many pictures of Maverick and just wanted to post a few of my favorites.

Here he is after a bath, looking super pathetic. I had to document the first night he decided it was okay to cuddle on the couch with us. Thankfully he has done it every night since then.

What? I'm not doing anything!

This is from the lake house that we stayed in on Labor Day weekend. He LOVED running up the stairs, but just sat there and cried when it was time to come down.

This is also from that weekend. Believe it or not, he actually liked swinging with me in the hammock.

Hope everyone has a good week!