A Second Chance

Well, I decided that it was time to join the "blog world". I have been wanting to do this for some time, but didn't know if I had anything interesting enough to blog about. I think this news falls into the category of interesting enough...

James and I got remarried!!!! Or "undivorced" as James likes to call it. When we left the Justice of the Peace, he said "I didn't know anything could be faster than the first ceremony, but that was faster!" I know this may come as a surprise to many of you. I can honestly say, that I am the last person who would have EVER thought we would be able to work things out. I guess that just goes to show what a lack of faith I had, but also what a low, low place we both were individually and as a couple. I know that I have nothing to apologize for, but I will say that I have felt a little guilty the last few months. So, please allow me to get this out there and then I will be done with it. James and I made a decision early on that we wanted to try and work this out together, not with everyone else. We did share with our parents that we were working on reconciliation and basically left it at that. As much as we both appreciate everyone's support, encouragement and love we both felt it would be better to figure this out on our own. To those of you that I left in the dark or perhaps even lied to, I'm really sorry. I know that all of you love me more than I could have ever imagined and you don't want to see me hurt. For that I will forever be grateful! I will be more than happy to answer any questions that any of you may have about what has happened, how we are doing, etc. I have told several people and James as well, that it is not appropriate for me to fight his battle. That is his job, not mine. When it comes to facing some of you and your tough questions or hard feelings, only he can look you in the eye and say what needs to be said. I have seen the love and forgiveness this family is capable of and I have no doubt that as time passes you will all be able to see James for who he is now. Having said that neither of us expects it to be easy or quick.

We talk alot about what we learned through this experience, what we hope to carry with us through the years and how it has changed us. I can honestly say, that we have seen the Mighty Power of God through this experience. There is no other reason we are sitting in this apartment together today. I have always known the "right" answers in Sunday School and taught the "good" lessons at CDR, but I never truly knew what real forgiveness felt like or what a powerful God he actually is. James and I are trying to get through one day at a time, one battle at a time, one issue at a time, but we both believe that we can not remain silent about our story. It's definitely not time to start "preaching" (in fact it will never be time for that), we are no where close to being strong enough, but we can gently share our story of love and forgiveness. There will come a day when we can change at least one couple's marriage just by being honest about our life.

I really hope to use this blog to keep people informed of our daily happenings, but also as a place to be honest about how we are doing. Not a place to air dirty laundry, but a place to ask for encouragement and advice, a place to share a story or a lesson learned. I look forward to yet another avenue to communicate with those I love. I hope you enjoy!!