"Marriage is Damn Hard!!!"

If you are married and wouldn't agree with that statement, just wait! If you have been married for more than 6 months, you would probably whole heartedly agree with that statement. As I've mentioned before James and I are participating in two separate marriage groups. We go every Wednesday night to what we call our Reengage group. It includes our mentor couple, us and 3 other couples. Then every other Sunday night we go to what we call our Foundation group. It includes our mentor couple, 4 other couples and us. Add all that up and we have a ton of people getting waaaay involved in our marriage. I'm going to be honest and tell you most of the time, it is a BEATING!!

I think that right now our marriage is even more difficult because we are having to deal with a ton of stuff that we would probably just roll right on past if we didn't have people bringing it to the surface. It is stinkin' hard, but we are thankful that we are stopping bitterness, resentment and hurt in its track. We are prayerful that we are building a strong foundation for our future family and the next generation. It's so hard, but I know that it will be harder if we allow it to fester. All that to say, I have been tired and busy. Tired and busy from working on my marriage. It is tough work, but when we reach a light bulb moment, WHOA!! It's so wonderful and so rewarding.

I borrowed the title statement from a guy in our Reengage group on Wednesday. We all got there and our mentor couple was going around the room asking how everyone was and what had been going on that week. They came to the last couple and asked how they were doing. "FINE!!" "FINE!!" As both of them sat with the arms crossed over their chests and giving the other the cold shoulder. Anyways, I'll spare the rest of the details, but let me tell you after about a half hour, I was sweating and had to take off a couple of layers it was getting so heated in that room. Not heated between the two of them, but heated due to the others in the room calling them both out for totally unacceptable behaviors. I'm only telling you this about them, because James and I have been in the hot seat a couple of times ourselves. We have been called out (in a loving way of course : ) )and told that we were absolutely wrong and better get it together.

It's horrible, awful, terrible, but what a blessing we have in that group. Both groups, but especially that one. After all the heat, we left and went to our mentors house for wassail and cookies. We talked and laughed for hours, with no hard feeling toward each other. Only love and gratitude for what we have all come to mean to each other.

I write this for anyone reading, but especially for my fellow "newlywed" friends out there. Marriage is hard, but I can promise it is soooo much harder when done in isolation. As humans we are created for relationships. Yes, some of us prefer more alone time and some of us prefer to be with people all the time, but I really believe that no one can really thrive in marriage without advice, support and encouragement from others. From others who have the best intention for your marriage in mind. I encourage all of you to find community, whatever that means to you. I know that James and I have conquered so many demons in our marriage with the help of our groups and the godly wisdom that they have shared with us. Now onto the next issue!!!